The last month has been quite difficult for me. I feel as if I have been under a great deal of attack from the enemy… It’s left me exhausted and depleted! I’ve been finding myself often in unbelief and was reminded recently through a message at church that “Jesus is the answer to help us fight against unbelief”. The Lord can handle our unbelief and wants us to come to Him in honesty and look to Him and His WORD! Our Faith is not of our own doing but it’s His; it’s His gracious gift to us! So why, do I keep striving in my own strength, or lack there of, to love Jesus more? It is only the Lord that can deepen my love for Him and my Faith in Him! He wants me to surrender it all to Him and allow Him to “make a way where there seems to be no way”. He is so eager to show me (and you) who He is and who I (and you are) am in Him; how He “sees” me (and you)! And how much more He receives the GLORY when we “cast our cares upon Him”! **God often speaks and ministers to my heart through songs, and this is the one that has really been resonating with me. May it be an encouragement to you as well! <3 He Knows by Jeremy Camp All the bitter weary ways Endless striving day by day You barely have the strength to pray In the valley low And how hard your fight has been How deep the pain within Wounds that no one else has seen Hurts too much to show ALL the doubt you’re standing in between And all the weight that brings you to your knees Chorus: He Knows (x2) Every hurt and every sting He has walked the suffering He knows (x2) Let your burdens come undone Lift your eyes up to the one who knows He knows We may faint and we may sink Feel the pain and near the brink But the dark begins to shrink When you find the one who knows The chains of doubt that held you in between One by one are starting to break free. [Chorus] Every time that you feel forsaken Every time that you feel alone He is near to the brokenhearted Every tear [Chorus] He knows (x2)
1 Comment
These days I’ve been learning how important it is to preach the Gospel to myself on a daily basis. My relationship with Jesus and how I see Him and myself is foundational in what I do, what I say, how I do it, and so on. It affects every aspect of my life, and so I must learn to give myself grace. His GRACE is sufficient! Do I really believe this? And do I really believe that His love covers all of my sins? Yes, but it is something that I grapple with often, knowing my sinful nature.
I’ve been listening to the Prodigal God, by Tim Keller, and am wrestling with my heart and how I relate with the older brother/ Pharisees. I’ve never thought of myself in this way, but when it comes down to it, I do sometimes serve others and God out of a selfish heart and can have this “self-entitlement”, that I deserve things due to my faithfulness. This becomes evident when things don’t turn out the way that I would like them to and I become depressed. Tim Keller pointed out that the older brother was very obedient, only so that he would get what he wanted. He didn’t care about his relationship with his father, but instead focused on worldly possessions and waited for his inheritance. Keller said that this kind of heart’s mentality is “being your own savior”; wanting to take control of the situation or “earning” your way to salvation. Wow, talk about convicting! Father, forgive me for my heart/motive for why I have done things with intent of selfish gain/ approval! Would I desire You above all things; seek out You, the giver, rather than Your gifts! Would I learn to love You for who You are and to receive Your love. Would I be rooted and established in your love, that I might “know” and “comprehend” the depth, length, height, and width of your love and to experience the fullness of you (Eph. 3:17b-19), Jesus? I pray that for all of us (His current and future Adopted Children)! Also, may I not lose sight of my NEED for you, Jesus, nor lose sight of your unconditional and never-ending love! Thank you for ACTING on our behalf and coming down to become like us, but being our perfect and spotless lamb, to be our ultimate sacrifice so that we may be in a right relationship to the Father! And thank You, for providing us with Your Holy Spirit to lead us in all truth and to be our teacher, helper, and companion. New DepthsColossians 1:9-11 "And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; " It has been my New Year's tradition for the last three years to go to Fox Run Park and sit on the bench that overlooks Pikes Peak, to be still before the Lord to listen, worship, and pray. The purpose in this time is to prepare my heart to be receptive of whatever truths God wants me to focus on, pray over, and meditate on. This year, I feel that He is challenging me to pray for new spiritual depths. In other words, to pray for a Faith without borders which requires entering into a deeper understanding of His Grace, Joy, Hope, Love, and Mercy. While sitting on that bench and looking out at Pikes Peak, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind Isaiah 29:14, from my conversation with my uncle the day before. It says, "Therefore once more I will astound these people with wonder upon wonder; the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish". As I meditated on this verse, I felt like the Lord was saying that He was going to astound me over and over with great WONDER of His majesty, power, and Goodness this year! One thing's for sure, God has been tilling the soil of my heart to prepare me for the good works that He has planned in advance for me to do (Eph. 2:10). And He who has tilled will also bring about what I need to yield the crop/fruit. He has me right where He wants me, to where He's able to MOVE powerfully and astound us ALL with great WONDER of who He is! Through our brokenness or "cracks", His GLORY is better displayed for the whole world to see. May we be willing to allow God to break us and to till our hearts' soils, in whatever way He sees fit so that He can accomplish His will and purpose through us. May we also humble ourselves before Him, seek first His Kingdom, Trust Him to be who He says that He is and Trust Him to do what He says He can and will do. Open Up My Eyes in WONDER... Prayer for 2021
Dear Jesus, I ask that you would give me a deeper knowledge of You, a deeper love for You, a deeper Faith in You, and a deeper Joy in You!! Give me the courage, strength, and resilience to follow You no matter where the road leads or what the road looks like ahead. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on You and claim the Truth that You are BIGGER, than anything that I come up against. Nothing is too difficult for You! But when I find myself in doubt, help me to receive Your Grace and BELIEVE that it is sufficient for me! Here is a detailed explanation of God's hand on the whole process to give me my own house:
|
AuthorI'm a Jesus lover, cool TCK, global trotter, dance lover, mountain hiker, life adventurer, ministry worker, goof ball, and daughter of the King. Archives
May 2021
Categories |